insecurities. . .

uneasy & restless. . .
gets really paranoid when my never-ending pt time job finally ends and the next schedule is not out yet & i never fail not to abuse the F5 button every 5 seconds in my mail box. . .
sometimes i think maybe i suck so bad last week that they don't want me anymore especially animal planet stuff. . . the feeling of waiting and wasting time is just meh~ inducing...

i should have use my free time to do some useful stuff (like now?) instead of browsing thru online webbie giving them my hard earn money...sometimes i'm thinking should i even stick to it since it doesn't earn much and takes a lot of brain power to do. . .

i have a goal to pay off my ptptn load in 2 years time and finally be debt free and have some savings. If i only pay 400 a month it'll take me 4 years to pay off... Money, please fall from the sky~ wishful thinking...stop wasting hard earn money and go learn something~

bbyong~