i died again and again~

Rip off 02 : this time around 'Again and Again'
i literally died a couple of times this few weeks,
first time with Brett replying my tweet (gosh...the adrenaline rush for 10 secs or so)
^ totally had no idea what went thru my mind...

second time when i notice i had a gap in my front teeth...tho not noticeable but it's enough to kill me and leaves my soul in depression for 2 weeks or so~
Warning: shall not be read by anyone with a gap in their front teeth...

of all the places is somewhat acceptable but the front part~
luckily i wasn't born with it, i just don't like it~
hating it...gosh~ reminds me of this ss guy who thinks i'm his girl after knowing him for 3 days~ o.O; his was like a mile wide? nightmare...not like i judge ppl by how they look like, it's just i don't like being pushed around and controlled~ who the heck do he think he is? ppl like this are going to be ignored indefinitely~

i died the third time today when i had power chain on~
barely 2 hrs the pain is crawling back...on top of anything why does gargling hurts like (&#@&#@? anyway...i'm happy with power chain because the gap will close~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
had to sacrifice with pain...i need glucose drip and a week off frm that dreadful place...
but the color is nice~ orange...

ijou~

oMg it's so deep~

*Deep.dEep.deEp.deeP*
the vision of a dragon is so deep...and talk about going into every single detail in your artwork shows his dedication in it. who would've imagine he will personally go on to the seat and get the point of view from there? ii na... iSupportGD =).

i know how it's like to be dedicated in your work~ nvm how hard it was, you still won't feel it's hard and actually enjoy doing it...and when it's finished, you always feel there are still places for you to fix and make it one step closer to perfection.

*recently*
i never mention about the weather cuz it's hot everyday, except for today...it's getting cool and the day seems longer...the other day i went out at 6.30 am and it's still dark~

taking turn...
note: all written based on logic that she could think off cuz today she's lazy to read abt bones ~
like i ever take note of teeth structure and how it magically attached to the bone of your skull (citation? lolz) and with this tiny blood vessel hole, there's blood flow inside your tooth (citation2 hahaa)...the tooth braket-ed standing firm next to the molar band is taking turn to hurt~!!! last week it was upper left...this week it was lower left...

on the 3rd week, my teeth felt like mine again *weez* before this it was just foreign object feeling strange when i try to touch it...and non existence space appear again~!

last day...
it's the last day we share the same age til October... sillyness + arienainess~
i'm quite sad cuz this year i couldn't eat kimchi because of my cursed bubblegum molar afraid it'll get stained...tho i luv luv kimchi~ huhuu...

anyway to another kimchi i like a lot for his ever sultry voice and the silly self,
Happy 24th Birthday~
tho you're basically 25 in korea~
ii dane~ fake quarter century~

i'll follow u until u love me. . .dara diri dara du~ (obviously what's playing jyan?)

*PiPi's Loveless*
tabun emo song...but the piano is nice...

ijou...today is another lil' happiness~ movies =).

it's about time...

...to change this layout to a nicer skin, i admit during the creation of this skin, i am truly blind and chooses this milky-orangeish-dunno what color out of convenience...pardon my blindness~ and laziness~ i should choose something sea-colored...across the sea, there's a dancing fish~ w00t

Everyday
i just have to remind myself not to be lazy, deal with the pain, sing, talk and say 'hi & bye'...i barely have time to prepare every morning due to the 20mins snoozing~ i wanna sleep ZzzZ~

the pain is making every second past twice as slow... the wire which is not suppose to poke *imaginary theory* starts to poke like needle in the mouth~ the pain which is not suppose to be pain starts to pain~ i thought it was gonna be like prep session or introduction by putting the device in for fun and decoration for the first month or so but reality is harsh...it hurts to bite on a piece of cake on the day itself~ but it's okay now...who would have imagine eating french fries would nearly kill you?

i barely notice black hole L cuz spacer was the drama queen making all the pain last week and now bracie was killing my soul with the instant poking and the extra TLC it needed...i cannot imagine ppl living with it for years~ and my bubblegum-lookalike molar L&R is just plain ugly...why do you have to be cruel and cement my molar??? why...and it taste like cement~ food = cement...nasty~
yappa i have underestimate braces for its cyborgy look and tonnes of fun colors to change forgetting about the pain that feels like extracting your tooth without anesthetic that last for a week~

if this wire thingy that seems harmless sitting on the bracket would hurt so bad, i can never imagine how it feels like after putting rubber for the extra strength to pull the teeth in place and close the gap~ omg~!!! what have i sign myself to? anyway, forget about it~ ignorance is my bliss~

ijou~

wazzup my year~ =).

2010 is my year...101010 is my day~

Glucose drip~
apparently there are basically no way to get it unless you rob the hospital *drama* lolz
well, since i had 2 hole, one each side and 8 rubber spacers in between my molar eating is pain, biting is pain, talking is pain, thinking is pain, brushing is pain...nothing but pain~

i swear it doesn't hurt a bit when dentist-san put in the spacer for the first day and i can still happily chew on pizza after that~ but when i woke up the next morning, reality come creeping:- the pain is real~ *harsh*

ever since, it's nothing but pain, pain and more pain~
and so i ended up being a snake...swallowing food without chewing it to tiny lil' pieces...and thus i don't feel hungry cuz snake doesn't eat often jyan~ lolz

the other day nurse-san called asking me to go for the real thing this sunday at 9am~ with a piece of advice "eat first"...argh~ i've probably increased my pain tolerance to 5.5% after this spacer nightmare~ there isn't any space between the molar so imagine inserting a 0.1mm or whatever to create the space that isn't there....these imaginary spaces is killing human soul~

At last...
...see you next year *weez*
i saw you on the last day of 2009~ bravo-ness *fireworks*
a very kiopta tessi-rashii no hito...but ToT *uwaaah*

Heavenly...
...is how it should be expressed.
Yesterday I saw TaeYang n Park Bom's You and I perf...it literally brings you to cloud nine and you'll feel like you're being surrounded by white and fluffy cotton clouds~ and all pain was melting away with the world seems brighter, hopes was beaming at you from above~
[Painkiller here]
Park Bom probably see TY as a 4 years younger dongsaeng...left poor TY's hand hanging like robocop in the end~ poor thing~ but their voice is so awesome~

after the performances: pain fade in...

ijou~ while thinking should i go out??? my excuse and neverending rant~

stubborn, stubborn, stubborn

Molar L, you are stubborn *sobz*
it hurts~ it seems like the others was traumatized as well...
it hurts.... *uwaaah~* it hurts~
summed up, my christmas eve is nothing but pain...

The ending of a nightmare~
no more extraction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gonna get my spacer this sunday...i thought it was gonna be okay~ but...someone wrote this
"There isn't much to do when you are in pain." yeah, watever, thanks wikipedia for opening up another chapter of nightmare for me...bravo *clap clap*

Stubborn tooth~ it takes literally FOREVER for the tooth to come out~ and luckily nurse-san was nice and let me hold her hand like my life is hanging on it =.=; but this time i didn't hear the bone break cuz I was listening to a very deaftening version of 'Where U At' by BigBang Sunshine~

yokatta for the creation of anesthetic, BigBang and mp3...my teeth is going to be straight *weez~*

and even the anesthetic shot this time hurt like ()#&!#@*@)(!!!

Heartbreaker
u are a heartbreaker...
i'm not gonna wait...
bye~

it hurts~ hurts~ hurts~

ijou...

it crashes down

very literally when the idol he's balancing falls off~
my heart follow the doll crashing hard on the floor...
i'm a big fan of Survivor and Brett in Season 19 of the show~
he just have to be the remaining true blue Galu member against the others and stay till the very near end...
was excited when he won the 3rd immunity challenge in a row to keep staying in the game~
awesome~

i really like his vision in The Monument of Our Heart~
i'm getting one for sure...

Blackhole R update (day 5)
day 5 already *cries* i notice my tooth is like it's oxidized o.O; i left it on top of the cabinet to remind the nightmare i went thru...pondering *why oh why~* (drama-ing)
mischievous me once took a bite on it and it basically feels like ceramic bathroom tiles...lolz

anyway the hole...it's not that deep compared with day 4...or my imagination is being positive? I only dare to look at the wound on day 4~ =.=; it's just blood clot~ it'll dissolve eventually~
and the after treatment follow up was unexpected...dentist-san told me not to eat hard food
*guilty of chewing on apple and gingerbread on the 2nd day~ and drinking with a straw that subtly ruptured the structure of the clot~* (drama-ing)
it's not like i'm immobilize (?!) on both size~ but this week and the weeks to come it's not gonna be nice...i've given up on food~ i should have glucose dripped into my bloodstream instead~

at first i thought they were gonna sew the wound with a dis-solvable thread and that i can finally experience the wonder laughing gas can do (as seen on EHB~ maybe seeing a Xray suit hanging like somesort of armor on the wall will crack me up or so)
but none of that happen...double the bummer~

today's gonna be a lucky day~
ijou~

when you're down...just ha-ha-haa~

i promise i will...

tomorrow's gonna be tsumaranai cuz my long weekend ended in the blink of an eye nursing for the wound makes me rethink again and again...why am i doing this~

the wound is like a blackhole~
sometimes i forgotten about it and take a bite on a piece of cake~ *yada-ness*

i'm craving for freedom~ hahaa~
freedom-san, please find me and let's hang out sometime.cuz sitting in that small lil-room-of-dooms day is suffocating my brain~

we have cultural gap~ aigooooooooooo...

I shall watch TaeYang's very awesome Wedding Dress live~ *heartness*

ijou...

No turning back...

my msn nickname note was 'I need oppa'~ omo...ppl might think that i'm ss and that i need oppa~
but it's not that kind of oppa...i just put it for fun =.=;

Chapter 01: It feels like RoboCop~
i finally set a date to face with my biggest nightmare~

in the surreal world of cruelty...luckily it ended fast tho the waiting seems forever cuz they decided to leave me in the room waiting for the anesthetic to work it's magical wonder of painless minor surgery (somewhat it's the biggest surgery i've ever had~ or the exaggeration)

i have no idea how ppl find the courage to go thru this thing without distraction...imagine having to listen to the rocking sound~ *arghhh* luckily i've find a way to deal with the noise~ Just bring ur mp3 along and choose your fav song...i choose to listen to a deaftening version of Wedding Dress by uri Bigbang Sunshine~ and it just lasted for 30 sec~ just deny watever is happening and listen to the song~ ignorance is truly my bliss~

then the nurse asked if i wanted my tooth~ i took it home tho i would appreciate if she clean off the blood and i don't want to think what's sticking to it~ arghhh...it's not as big as i thought it would be~ and i totally didn't expect it to be this side cuz i always planned to get the other side extracted...but i don't wanna make my choice, i just told the dentist-san "which ever u want" =.=; cuz i knew it'll take forever to choose~

the receptionist was pretty nice saying that it doesn't hurt~ it really doesn't tho i ate the painkiller yesterday nite cuz i am imagining the pain~ yokatta it doesn't hurt or sore...just empty =.=;

after that the blood doesn't stop for 2 hours cuz i couldn't stop looking at the mirror...and so i have to change 4 cotton~ and i was cho sleepy so i went to bed biting a cotton~ clearly doing what i'm not suppose to do *quote instruction: do not immediately go to bed* seriously...that WAS my initial plan~ i went to bed when the bleeding wasn't serious and i was sleepy...so i went to bed thinking what's the worst thing that will happen? choke on the cotton dake jyan? so i went to bed...the cotton drop off~ nothing happen...yokatta T.T

and i didn't take dinner yesterday... it's been one day~ what a nice way to diet~ lol...all my attention was directed to the empty feeling~

owh and i didn't mention why it felt like RoboCop~ at some point during the process dentist-san instructed nurse-san to position my head~ that reminds me of robocop~ =.=; RoboCop is such a nice cop~ sadly they don't play or have a remake of it...it'll be nice to have a RoboCop the movie~ X).

ijou~ next week again =.=; luckily this month is full with long weekend tho it doesn't help cuz i need to go to class~ what's the point? =.=;

still, i'm glad it doesn't hurt~
it's raining. . .it's raining~

Listening to Jang Geun-suk...

...oppa, all night.
his voice is so deep and soothing,
it's somewhat protective and strong yet had a pinch of gentleness~
it'll calm down your anxiety and promote a state of annyeong-ness
full with emotion yet a bit stony(?!) tough
*trying to enrich my vocabulary for no apparent reason* (yeah, rite)
FAIL... =.=;

and the lyrics of the song Promise is just going to make you super obese (BMI 45+) and die of diabetes~
you have been warned...if you wanna have BMI of 18 or below, stay away from food~ not this song. . .

[In the hot summer days, I promise to become your shade]
*yay*

no, that's not my favorite line...that was my 2nd. . .my fav is the last line~ futsu dane~ futsu no hito dakara~ hehee~

the tale of cyborg~ prelude (?!)
i heard tales of people waking up with pillow soak with their blood oozing from the wound. . .i can predict that next next week is going to be a depressing week...
become a penguin? lol...watch march of the penguin and you'll know what i mean...
tonikaku, i'm going to be depressed anyway~ *depressed*
how can one's be depressed listening to Jang Geun-suk? X)

again, if i follow the rabbit...
...will i end up in neverland?
bravo to uri neighbor-san who decided to put all their rabbits into the cage instead of letting them running loose all around the streets
and the utmost interesting thing is that the rabbits know how to go back to their home (!!!)
maki impressed~
and to imagine those kinda tiny rabbits might wander of anywhere and you might missed them and run over it. . .nightmares will happen, their kids will cry all night and i'll never be driving again...and how eerie can a rabbit scream sound like? *please don't let it happen* or next halloween there will be a rabbit coming for revenge movie...
tho the red eyed white rabbit doesn't seems cute, but those brown ones with white spots and black eyes are adorable...
and...uri neighbour had a mushroom deco in their yard! neverland da. . .

ijou...

maki update: i'ma gonna be a cyborg~

lolz. . .metal reminds me of cyborg and thus~
luckily dentist-san is such a yasashi person...so much tlc...

ijou~ i'm lazy. . .